


what am i to you?

by ceruleanskies



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Adam (Voltron) Lives, Angst, M/M, au where adam lives ok, barely edited oof, tags are subject to change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-12
Updated: 2018-10-12
Packaged: 2019-07-29 23:17:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16274399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ceruleanskies/pseuds/ceruleanskies
Summary: For over five years, Adam thought he was dead. He remembered the devastating moment when he saw the news broadcast, and every dark day alone in bed after that. He remembered his co-workers and even some of his students approaching him to give respects, and he’d say thank you to be polite – too numb from the shock of his fiance’s death to give a damn. For over five years, he had dealt with the guilt hanging off his back that Adam’s last words to Takashi were not to expect him when he comes back.





	what am i to you?

**Author's Note:**

> i really wanted to try out doing more monologues, +++ i have this headcanon that Adam actually survives okk??

_“What am I to you, Takashi?”_

Adam’s eyes sprung open and everything had hurt. His arms, his ribs, his legs, his eye, and his head – god, did his head hurt. He knew he was bleeding – and very heavily, too. He suspected that he had broke his leg, arm and most likely, ribs.

All the man could hear were the sounds of the Galra and Earth fighting, the blast of the Galran’s weapons hitting the protective barrier the Garrison had put up.

He tried to move his legs but couldn’t, he tried to move his arms but it hurt too much to move. He tilted his head back to the ruined cushion of his pilot’s seat, tired.

Adam’s head sprung with thoughts, of what could happen to Earth if the Galra’s invasion succeeded, what should’ve happened to keep the Galra away – and most of all, his thoughts went to Takashi.

For over five years, Adam thought he was dead. He remembered the devastating moment when he saw the news broadcast, and every dark day alone in bed after that. He remembered his co-workers and even some of his students approaching him to give respects, and he’d say thank you to be polite – too numb from the shock of his fiance’s death to give a damn. For over five years, he had dealt with the guilt hanging off his back that Adam’s last words to Takashi were not to expect him when he comes back.

So he tried to forget the feeling. He took down photos of him and Takashi, the medals he earned, the memories they’ve made together, but it never went away.

Then Sam Holt returned to Earth, saying that Voltron was real, and that Takashi Shirogane was alive and well. He said that they’ll come back to Earth one day.

A mix of emotions had hit him at that very moment – hope, relief… guilt. He had visited the Takashi’s plaque everyday after that, sitting there and running his fingers over the words. Each day he did this, he felt reinvigorated; he felt that hope the people at the Garrison felt about Voltron and Earth being saved. He felt the hope that he’d return to Earth and Adam would run into his arms.

He felt the hope that Takashi is alive.

Was he still alright? Was he on his way? Was Keith with him? Sam said his daughter was a paladin, is she coming too? Where was his son? They were questions Adam may never get the answer to.

He considered just giving up. He was too tired, he can’t see out of his left eye, and his body hurt everywhere. Adam just hoped that Voltron will return and save Earth from the Galra.

_What am I to you, Takashi?_

Adam may not know what Takashi may think of him now, but he knew what he felt about him. Adam cared deeply for him… he loved him; and if his bones were broken, he’d crawl to him.

_“You can’t go on that Kerberos mission, Takashi.” Adam had said, crossing his arms sternly._

_“This is something I can’t pass up, Adam.” Takashi replied. “I have to do this.”_

_“You can’t go right now! You’re not alright!” Adam sighed. “What am I- what will Keith and I do if you never come back?”_

_He felt Takashi sit down next to him, and he put a reassuring arm around him. “I’ll be alright, really. Nothing can ever get me down, Adam! And if something does…”_

_Takashi clasped his hands over Adam’s. “I want you to keep living life to the fullest. Meet new friends, talk to people, find someone else, whatever. As long as you’re happy, I will too.”_

_Adam’s eyes trailed down to the couch. “I hope you’re making the right decision.”_

_“I hope too.”_

_“I love you.”_

_“I love you too, Adam.”_

Keep living life to the fullest, Takashi once told Adam.

Then suddenly his eyes snapped open, and he took in the surroundings once more: the blaring alarms, the sounds of Galran weapons, the wreckage that was his ship.

He pulled his arm free, and the burning hot sensation shot up his arm. Adam looked around for something – anywhere he can get out of, and beside him, his window.

He kicked at the window with his good leg until it broke apart, and he crawled out. He held onto the broken ship for support as he hauled himself up to his feet. 

Adam stared at the Garrison and its barrier, withstanding every attack the Galra threw at it; but how long will it stay standing?

_Live life to the fullest._

If Adam went back there now, he’ll be blasted to smithereens by the cannons, and he was in no position to run. He turned back, towards the way into the city. Perhaps right now isn’t the time to be in the Garrison.

He began his trek towards the deserted city.

Hope was fleeting in his chest.

**Author's Note:**

> hey so I feel like the ending didn’t make any sense, but uh?? i'll be doing part 2?? Or maybe I’ll do a long-term adashi fanfic. Anyway, my tumblr is azurebluuu so check it out if you want to!!


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